Regaining Control When Chaos Reigns

Tip of the Week, December 6, 2009

Welcome to December, a month when the already hectic pace of life seems to kick into overdrive, resulting in packed schedules, super-busy weeks, and--if your life is anything like mine--an occasional descent into chaos.

The good news is that that chaos doesn't have to stick around for long, and also doesn't have to completely throw you off track. Here are a few techniques for letting craziness happen when it needs to and then recovering from it so you can get on with your life, especially during this (delightfully?) zany holiday season.

#1: Decide how much it's worth fighting
I try to keep this reminder from my long-ago swimming lessons in mind when I'm in the midst of an especially busy, hectic, or stressful week: if you get tired while swimming, the best thing to do is not redouble your efforts to make it back to shore but instead to rest briefly by doing the dead man's float--that is, floating on your stomach with your face in the water. Something similar holds for organization, I think: when life is at its craziest, trying to fight that chaos and maintain perfect order will only make you more exhausted.

When you're facing madness this month, then, decide whether it's truly worth trying to thrash your way to shore--to make the house spotless and 100% clutter-free before guests arrive, say--or whether you'd be better off giving in and regaining your strength.

#2: If you go off a cliff, climb back up slowly
So you've given in to a bit of chaos, allowing the dishes to pile up in the sink and your desk to be taken over by papers and files and your To Do list to run rampant. When it's time to recover, your instinct might be to try to get everything organized and orderly again at the same time. But that's like falling off a cliff and then immediately scrambling back up to the top: exhausting and inefficient. Instead, focus on tackling one or two tasks at a time. You'll prevent yourself from burning out but will still make progress.

#3: Look for tasks that will take a weight off your mind
Of all the tasks I could have opted to handle yesterday, which came at the tail end of an especially busy week, I chose two: doing an intense vacuuming session (including under furniture) and tackling the looming pile of hand-washables that had built up over a few months (!) in my closet. Why those two? Because every time I spotted a dust kitty under my bed or looked at that Tower of Laundry, my brain would "helpfully" remind me that I was facing uncompleted tasks, and would then continue to remind me throughout the day. After an hour with the Dirt Devil and Woolite, my mind was freer and clearer, and I was better able to focus on other tasks.

#4: Focus on keeping one area totally under control
What's true year-round is especially true around the holidays: having one specific area in your home or office that you keep relatively organized no matter what can help you feel more in control, even when things get crazy. At home, you might commit to keeping your bedroom an oasis of order and sanity, or to keeping the kitchen well organized and running smoothly, regardless of what happens in the rest of the house. At work, perhaps you decide to keep your desk in order, even if your bookshelves and credenza get wild.

Committing to keeping one spot completely under control won't overwhelm you the way trying to keep your entire house or office organized might, and is also an excellent way of keeping chaos from taking over entirely. Choose a spot you spend a lot of time in for the biggest impact; keeping the formal living room at home neat as a pin won't have much impact if you'll only be in there once this month.

The bottom line: chaos happens, especially in December. You might not be able to avoid it (remember: dead man's float), but you can bounce back and regain enough control to make it comfortably through the holiday season without adding more stress to your life or more tasks to your To Do list.

Pre-Holiday Clearing Out and Opening Up

Tip of the Week, November 29, 2009

Before you know it (if it hasn't already started happening), the stuff of the season will begin filling up your house. Between decorations, holiday cards, special seasonal foods (think cookies, candies, nuts...), and gifts, your living space might start to feel slightly--if festively and delightfully--cluttered.

To maintain a sense of control during this celebratory month, and to ensure that what finds places of pride in your house are those things you truly want, need, and love, take some time this week to do a bit of anticipatory weeding. That simply means letting go of things that are no longer special to you--and encouraging your family members to do the same. Here are a few areas to focus on.

Holiday Decorations
As you unpack and reconnect with your holiday decorations, you're bound to discover at least a few that are past their prime, that you don't need, or that you don't have any particular desire to display. Now's the time to clear these out so that the decorations that are special to you can truly shine. If your holiday stuff is in good condition, donate it to a local thrift shop or offer it to friends. If it's broken or worn beyond repair, salvage any bits you will actually use for other purposes (small bells, ornament hooks) and throw the rest away.

Holiday and Winter Clothing
Never gonna wear that embroidered Christmas tree sweater? Donating it to a thrift shop now will give it a better chance of reaching the hands of someone who'll love it and will happily don it this holiday season. This is also a great time to sort through winter gear so that coats, jackets, gloves, hats, and scarves that no longer fit or that your family isn't using can go to one of the many donate-a-coat events that happen this month.

Kids' Toys
Kids can go a bit wild in the cheerful mayhem of the holiday season. This is the perfect time to bring the children in your life back down to earth in terms of their expectations for the celebrations ahead. Spend some time helping your kids sort through their toys and books, and encourage them to pass on any they don't use. Remind them that there are other kids who would appreciate the things they aren't playing with, and also that there may be new toys coming in later in the month. And in terms of holiday wish lists, do what you can to help keep your kids in check, perhaps encouraging them to focus on a few very special things, or listing one new toy for charity for every two toys they list for themselves.

Food
Finally, with Thanksgiving behind you, this is a great opportunity to reclaim your fridge, freezer, and pantry. You know the drill: toss (or compost) anything from the fridge or freezer that's gone bad or that you're not likely to eat. Do the same in your pantry, setting aside for donation anything that's non-perishable and unexpired. And when you find, say, those four dusty cans of pumpkin you bought last December, fully intending to make pumpkin pie from scratch, make a mental note to reconsider such a purchase this year.

This sorting and weeding doesn't need to be time-consuming. With 20 minutes or so each day, you'll find yourself, at the end of the week, with a home that's less cluttered and ready to accept the bounty of the season ahead.

Holiday Planning: What to Do This Week

Tip of the Week, November 22, 2009

Thanksgiving is nearly here, but it's not too late to take a few simple steps that will help ensure a smoother, more organized, more enjoyable holiday. Here's what to do over the next few days to keep yourself sane. (These tips are taken from my Guide to Less Stressful Holidays; see the Books and Guides page on my website to order a copy.)

Do some advance prep work for Thursday's meal. Waiting until Thursday morning--or even Wednesday night--to tackle the bulk of your cooking tasks can leave you feeling crazed. Figure out what prep tasks you can do before you start cooking in earnest, such as chopping veggies, boiling potatoes to be mashed, and preparing appetizers that can be refrigerated overnight.

Get the house ready. If you're hosting Thanksgiving, give the public areas of your home a quick cleaning and decluttering early in the week so you can relax a bit before guests arrive. Consider enlisting family members to help with cleaning tasks so you can divide and conquer these chores.

Get organized to travel. Heading out of town for the holiday? Try checking in online and, if possible, packing only bags that you can carry on board the airplane to avoid long lines at the airport. Plan to get to the airport at least 90 minutes before your flight to give yourself enough time to get through security lines and prevent a mad dash to your departure gate.

Enlist and accept help. Instead of driving yourself nuts trying to prepare an entire Thanksgiving dinner--soup to, well, nuts--on your own, get your family and guests in on the act, and be prepared to accept offers of help by having specific tasks ready to delegate.In my family, each person is delegated certain tasks: one person is the designated grocery store runner, one person oversees setting and decorating the table, one person staffs the bar to keep guests' glasses full, and two people take care of all the desserts. In addition, everyone is on call for extra kitchen help if needed. Sharing the work gives the hosts the ability to relax a bit and enjoy the day, and allows everyone to contribute to the celebration.

Breathe. In the midst of this particularly chaotic week, it can be all too easy to succumb to stress. If you feel yourself about to blow your top, whether because you're stuck in an unmoving security line at the airport or because your turkey seems to be taking its sweet time to defrost, pause for a moment and breathe deeply. Try to refocus on the holiday's overall meaning to you and, as much as possible, shake off what's frustrating you. Whatever it is will pass, and might even make for an amusing story someday.

Stocking and Organizing a Home Bar

Tip of the Week, November 15, 2009

During the holiday season, many of us will entertain at some point, whether by hosting a party, a meal, or an open house or simply by welcoming friends and neighbors who happen to stop by. Having a home bar stocked with snacks and beverages can make entertaining easier and more enjoyable, no matter how much of it you do. Here's how to set up your own bar so you'll be ready to welcome guests at the drop of a hat.

Step 1: Think about how you entertain
Before you stock up on supplies for your home bar, give some thought to the type of entertaining you do. If you regularly have parties or other events with lots of guests, you'll want a bar with a range of drinks and non-perishable snacks. If your events tend to be small and low-key, with a few friends or neighbors occasionally stopping by, a simpler set-up with a few bottles of wine and a handful of basic snacks should do the trick.

Step 2: Choose a location
Next up, decide on a location for your home bar. If you have the space, and if you entertain frequently, you might want to invest in a bar cabinet or other designated storage spot for your bar. (CB2 has one of my favorite bar cabinets, with room for bottles, glasses, and other supplies.) You can also tuck your bar supplies into a dining room hutch or a kitchen cabinet, or stash them on a shelf in the pantry or living room. Choose a location for your bar that makes it easy to access from wherever you normally entertain, and one that allows you to store all of your bar supplies together in one spot.

Step 3: Stock up
Now for the fun part: stocking your bar with drinks and supplies. Remember, what's most important is that your bar support the way you generally entertain. If you tend to stick to wine or beer when guests are over, there's no reason to invest a lot in liquor or special glassware--and even if you do serve mixed drinks when you entertain, you might not need shelf after shelf of bottles.

A good rule of thumb is to start with the basics and to add to your bar supplies over time. The very knowledgeable Brad Ellis of The Bar Mix Master Has Spoken blog has a great post with an overview of how to stock a home bar in phases. Phase 1 involves a few simple, flexible supplies such as gin, vodka, sweet vermouth, and bourbon, while Phases 2 and 3 include liqueurs, mixers, and special garnishes.

If you'll be serving beer and wine from your bar, keep a small selection of each on hand. I always try to keep a few bottles each of red and white wine in my bar; around the holidays, I add a few bottles of bubbly and dessert wine to that stash. A six pack or two of beer, or a few larger bottles of specialty brews, rounds things off nicely.

Finally, you'll also want to include non-alcoholic drinks, both to use as mixers and to serve guests who prefer not to tipple. Tonic water is an essential (to prevent waste, opt for cans or small bottles unless you know you'll be using a full bottle all at once); ginger ale and Coke are also handy. A variety of juices can round out your selection.

Beyond drinks, you'll also want to stock your bar with glassware and some basic cocktail supplies like a shaker, cocktail napkins, and measuring glasses. As you expand your bar, you might also want to include tools like a hand-held citrus press (great for squeezing fresh lemon and lime juice), a bar spoon, a paring knife, and a cutting board.

Step 4: Add snacks
To make your bar an even more useful resource for keeping guests happy, it's smart to add some basic, non-perishable snacks into the mix. Classics like nuts, pretzels, and snack mixes are super-simple and easy. Add a few fancy touches like breadsticks, crackers, special olives, high-quality chocolates, dried fruits, and dipping oils.

Remember, stock what you'll reasonably use based on the type of entertaining you do and how often you expect guests. The goal is to limit the amount of prep work you need to do before parties and visits, not to fill your bar with snacks you'll never use.

Step 5: Enjoy!
Once your bar is stocked with drinks, supplies, and snacks, you'll have one less thing to think about when it comes time to entertain. To make things even easier on yourself, consider setting up a self-serve drinks station during parties, with a few bottles of wine and a few house cocktails that guests can mix themselves. Or enlist a mixologically gifted friend or family member to staff the bar during your events so you can focus on mingling with your guests.

After each event, take stock of your bar supplies and replenish them as needed to make sure you don't find yourself short of an essential ingredient during your next fiesta.

However you'll be entertaining this holiday season, a simple, organized, and well stocked bar can make it easier and less stressful to welcome guests into your home. Cheers!

5 Quick Organizing Projects

Tip of the Week, November 8, 2009

Though there are still 24 hours in each day once Daylight Savings Time ends, the early darkness can make it seem like we've got less time to work with than we did before we turned the clocks back last week. And the increasingly hectic schedule of the holiday season means that time is at a premium, even if there's technically just as much of it as at any other point in the year.

The good news is that it's still possible to fit organization into your life even when things get busy and time starts flying. Here are 5 mini-projects you can tackle in 15 minutes or less, along with suggestions on extra steps to take for each if you happen to have a few more minutes to spare.

#1: Declutter a Junk Drawer
If there's a junk drawer in your home or office that drives you nuts, doing a quick sort-and-purge session can help restore your sanity. For the purposes of this mini-project, you don't need to totally reorganize the drawer: just focus on weeding out anything you know belongs elsewhere and anything you know you don't want or need.

Have a few extra minutes? Put some basic drawer dividers in place to keep like items together and to prevent chaos every time you open the drawer. You can use a utensil tray, modular drawer dividers, or simple reused containers like checkbook boxes or empty shallow glass jars.

#2: Do a Pen and Pencil Audit
This is a particularly good project to take on when you want something that requires neither a lot of energy nor a lot of brainpower. (It's also a great task to assign to kids.) Do a quick sweep of the spots in your home or office that tend to collect pens and pencils, then try out each implement, tossing those that no longer write and setting aside for donation those that still work but you don't want or need.

Have a few extra minutes? Distribute a few working pens and pencils, along with a pad of notepaper, in convenient spots throughout your space so you don't find yourself scrambling for something to write with (or on) the next time you need to take a phone message or jot down an idea.

#3: Go on an E-mail Deleting Binge
E-mail sometimes seem to multiply in the time it takes to blink, and it's entirely too easy to find yourself with an overflowing Inbox. Rather than trying to empty out the entire thing at once, spend 10-15 minutes deleting "low-hanging fruit" like old newsletters, spam, out-of-date messages from stores and online retailers, and anything with more than two Fwd:'s in the Subject line.

Have a few extra minutes? Take some time to unsubscribe from any newsletters, electronic store flyers, or other regularly appearing messages you never seem to read. (Remember: don't try unsubscribing from anything that seems like spam. Doing so just lets the spammers know your e-mail address is valid.)

#4: Weed out Obvious Junk Mail
With your e-mail Inbox whittled down, turn your attention to your stack of postal mail. Pull out any junk mail and shred/recycle it. Do the same with catalogs you don't want, anything you have in excess (like those Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons--believe me, you'll get more of them), and the filler material (such as inserts and advertisements) that comes with bills.

Have a few extra minutes? Stem the flow of catalogs you don't want by calling the companies that send them to you and asking them to remove your name from their mailing lists. Even quicker: visit www.catalogchoice.org, where you can remove yourself from mailing lists in a matter of minutes.

#5: Do a "10-Minute Tidy"
Finally, put 10 (or 15) minutes to good use by using that sliver of time to return to their rightful homes any errant items around your home or office. Get files back into a cabinet, supplies back into a drawer, clothes hung up or folded and put away, dishes safely stashed in cupboards. Set a timer and focus exclusively on putting things away until your 10 minutes are up. (This is another great--and, believe it or not, fun--activity to do with kids.)

Have a few extra minutes? Work on finding a home for anything that always seems to be wandering around lost, or that's never where you need it to be when you need it.

Tackle a few (or all) of these mini-projects to keep yourself organized and in control, even when the clock is working against you.

Guide to Less Stressful Holidays

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• What to Do Now schedules: week-by-week guides highlighting tasks to focus on throughout November and December
• 4 organizing projects to help you keep clutter at bay and stay in control throughout the season
• 11 worksheets to help you plan holiday travel, track gifts given and received, stock your pantry with seasonal essentials, and more
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• Comprehensive tips on creating meaningful celebrations, enlisting help, welcoming guests, and more
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Organizing vs. Decluttering

Tip of the Week, October 18, 2009

I often have clients ask during our first meeting (and sometimes even before!) when they should go out to buy organizing supplies and gadgets--and, truth be told, when I'm working with my own systems, I'm always tempted to dive in and try to find just the right tool or container before anything else.

The reality is that "organizing," to many people, means getting systems in place to corral and manage the stuff we have, whether paper, clothing, information, or something else. It can be frustrating to discover that, in order for these systems to truly function well over the long term, there's a step that needs to happen before organizing. That step is decluttering.

Decluttering: Not So Much Fun
Let's be honest here: decluttering is often a drag, especially when you're faced with doing a lot of it or when it involves making difficult decisions about what to keep and what to let go of (which might be to say, almost always). It's generally far more enjoyable to make a trip to the store or do some searching online for an inbox that will look great on your desk, dividers that will rein in the chaos of your kitchen drawers, boxes that will hold the miscellaneous stuff that haunts the table in your entryway, and other organizing tools.

(True confession: I sometimes have to stop myself from buying gadgets I find at the Container Store or Ikea and fall in love with, because no matter how neat they may be, I don't have a plan for how to use them, and they're bound to end up as clutter as soon as I get them home.)

But here's what often happens: when you jump right to the systems-creation process of organizing, you devise a way of storing things you may not actually need--or even want. It may seem like the solution to your teeming kitchen drawers is installing dividers to keep the contents in check, but if you then fill those dividers with utensils and gadgets you don't use or need, that system isn't really serving you well, and it's bound to break down quickly.

The Root of Disorganization
It's a hard truth that the primary cause of disorganization is not--perhaps surprisingly--a lack of functional systems, but very often simply too much stuff. I've seen clients with amazingly complex and detailed systems, complete with color-coding, labels, and gadgets galore, who struggle with being disorganized because no matter how solid their systems may seem, those systems still can't handle an excess of stuff.

Believing it's possible to get really and truly organized without first engaging in some decluttering is like believing it's possible to lose weight without consuming fewer calories or burning more of them.

That's not to say that it's always necessary to weed out vast quantities of stuff (whatever that stuff might be-things, information, or activities)-in order to reach your organizing goals. Rather, it means that each of us needs to determine how much has to go if we're to achieve the level of organization we're hoping for, just as anyone wanting to shed pounds needs to figure out how many calories they need to cut or expend in order to reach their target weight.

Becoming Aware of the Difference
The next time you find yourself facing an area of your home, office, or even calendar and thinking, "I need to get organized," hold that thought. Yes, creating a system to bring order where there isn't any (or enough) is an important step in the process. But before diving in to that part of the process, take a close and critical look at the stuff you want to organize, with an eye toward weeding out the non-essentials. Containerizing excess stuff won't make you more organized; it'll just get that excess stuff out of your line of sight temporarily. When that clutter resurfaces, it's bound to cause even more stress.

Once you've made conscious, honest decisions about what things (or tasks, or activities) truly deserve to stay, you'll be in a much better position to create organizing systems that will effectively store those things, and that will serve you well over the long term.